Friday, February 14, 2014

Wrestling with God's Sovereignty

As I wrestle once again with His sovereignty, I realize the deepest question my heart is asking:  Can I really trust that He knows what is best for me?
When life is smooth, it is easy to give lip service to believing that He knows what is best.  But our commitment to God and His plan is challenged when life is not so smooth.
So what exactly does "smooth" mean?  Smooth means life is going according to my plan.  And that's the crux of it.  Deep down in the darkest corner of my heart, the place I don't want to admit exists -- much less allow God to penetrate it with His Light and Truth -- deep down in that horrid corner I see what I really want is life according to my plan.  Control, rebellion, and pride all wrapped up into one big mess.
Bowing to His sovereignty means that I surrender my "good" plan for my life (and the lives of those I love), to His perfect plan.  It means humbly acknowledging that He knows best, that He is the only One who is infinite and eternal and knows all -- the past, present, and future.  It means realizing that I certainly cannot predict the future, much less control it.
I can bow to His sovereignty kicking and screaming . . . or, I can come to more deeply know the One who died so I could live.  In knowing the depth of that love, I cannot help but to trust that His perfect plan, His plan that is colliding with my plan, does indeed have my best interests at heart.
Are you wrestling?  Tell me about it.


  1. With the help of your materials and class, my wrestling match these days looks more like a sumo wrestler and a junior high wrestler going at it.

    Here's what I mean. I've surrendered enough at this stage of my healing where I realize I am no match for God (the sumo wrestler). Yet, in my weakness, pride, and insecurities, I still think I've got it a little more figured out than He does, so I fight. Like a child in middle school, full of ambition (or gumption), I still put up a fight to wrestle Him. The difference is that, at this stage, I've humbled and surrendered enough to know that I'm not anywhere on His level. I'm going to fight and know that He will win. We may spin around a few times, but with one hand, I know He can pin me down. He is in control.

    Spectators would laugh to see the size of the supreme sumo wrestler and me going at it (I have to assume the angels in Heaven have fun when I do). Fortunately, I no longer approach Him like I may have foolishly in the past, as that of at least a WWE wrestler! Sadly, there may have been times where my thoughts and actions would have suggested I actually thought I was a sumo as well.

    I believe God sees the growth, the humility, the deep yearning for me to jump onto the mat, really looking for an embrace, not another disgrace. As we celebrate Valentine's Day, I am reminded that He is the ultimate, never failing, never ending love of my life!!! He is my one true love who would never do anything to hurt me!!!

    Patient endurance is what you need now, so that you will continue to do God's will. Then you will receive all that He has promised. Hebrews 10:36 NLT

  2. Dear Cristina,
    Your word pictures reveal your deep passion for Jesus and your determination to grow even more deeply into Him. Rev 3:16 tells us that Jesus hates the lukewarm, the complacent so much He vomits them out of His mouth. He wants nothing to do with those who don't even care enough to come to Him with their questions and challenges. So yes, keep meeting Him on the mat, and each new wrestling match will take you to deeper revelation of who He is -- and how much He truly loves you.

    1. WOW, I love that perspective and encouragement! Thank you! If God is okay with questions and challenges, then He might as well call me Alex Trebek - I've probably gone to God with more questions and explorations over the years than Alex finds himself asking his Jeopardy contestants. Fortunately, as a Christian, I don't need to know most of the answers and have the best wager to win. I'm already a winner by believing, accepting, and seeking Him!

  3. Divine sovereignty is not the sovereignty of a tyrannical Despot, but the exercised pleasure of One who is infinitely wise and good! Because God is infinitely wise He cannot err, and because He is infinitely righteous He will not do wrong. Here then is the preciousness of this truth. The mere fact itself that God's will is irresistible and irreversible fills me with fear, but once I realize that God wills only that which is good, my heart is made to rejoice. ~A. W. Pink

  4. God has deemed that I should have cancer. I do not understand the why's and wherefore's and I may never understand it. It is not necessary for me to comprehend why. God does not ask me to understand. He only asks that I move forward in faith, trusting that His plan for my life is just, for my ultimate good and for His divine purposes. Struggling with “why” is a form of bondage. Walking forward in trust brings freedom and peace.